Spoken Thoughts
Where I voice my spoken thoughts in the form of free verse poetry.
Expression is the opposite of Depression.
Seven Heavens
9/11/26
My love sits in an ethereal kingdom, spawning an unyielding, completely impulsive, fully divine emotional giving that carries the weight of seven heavens in conjunction with the higher order.
Even now, I wonder if you ever loved me, or if I was simply filling a void that matter never occupied.
Six wings, six days, and six sacrifices.
Five times I spoke my repeated desires.
Four times I remained ignored.
Three times I forgave.
Two times I repaved a new road when the old foundations could no longer carry our weight.
For the last time, I spoke my truth.
And when I found myself back on my path, I knew it was time to walk away.
Caged Bird
8/18/26
I suppose I'm tired of old homes. Damaged patterns and cycles, that serve the wicked whom, in fact, can't wait to taste the flesh off my bones; rich in nutrients and even richer in light. The fiends and things that lurk at night, surrounded by the dark, itch and bark at the glimpse of a new source, someone to suck and drain while they bellow out for help from the onlookers. Demented and twisted, rushing at me like a wraith determined for a taste, and as I sit engulfed by the strength of my faith, a barrier forms around me on the foundation of self-esteem. This is my mountain, and I will climb it at the leisure of my pace. Not once, not twice, and surely not a third of me will feel the weight of sacrifice where there is no gain.
Self-Imposed
5/26/25
If I should answer the call of death
Then he shall be the one who claims the last of my breath
Through my days I’ll walk the trials of this test
And in my night it’ll be I who finally finds rest.
I reached out bc I know I shouldn’t mention this but.. I heard that you’re feeling some type of way mentally and I just wanna share that I feel you man.
Life’s confusing, we constantly go through different stages in life that we have to adapt to but often it feels like it’s never enough. Life feels boring for me sometimes even as I chase my passions, It’s like something’s calling to me but I don’t ever know what it is. I don’t know if it’s from our past and how we grew up but I’m here for you.
Heaviest is the head that shelters the crown, people sëë what’s happening in front of the screens but you & I both know what’s happening behind closed doors and that’s for us to live with, I share because I hope that it connects with you in some way shape or form.
I’m considered this talented artist but I never connect with it, it’s weird. It’s like compliments come in but I feel disconnected from them as if I’m not from here or they’re not meant for me.. whoever that is. It’s a self-imposed alienation and it feels uncommon, hard to understand, but it’s real. It’s like growth and discovery with separation from newly formed concepts all at once.
So what is uniquely me?
A question I often ask myself even if it already feels like I've found who I am. There's always a piece of me that's wondering where am I going? where am I now? and where was I before that makes me feel like there's something missing?
What I'm realizing about getting to know yourself as an introspective lone wolf (I tend to call myself), is that you never really ever find yourself completely, but you do keep finding pieces of yourself that make you feel closer to being whole.
Life is like a puzzle that keeps adding pieces the more you walk on a path. So for every piece of me that feels like it isn't near, I know it's only a matter of time before the next piece is here
And through eyes and scopes and lenses,
The densest of skulls fail to focus their vision,
Since Seething pains’ll mask a kiss
Under a false pretense,
At the door, we find the truth delivered in a single visit.
A Fool's Game
7/23/24
Am I wrong for questioning what we have?
It just.. doesn’t feel like what it used to.
The thought of that makes me mad,
And I just want to get back
To what we once had
Or is that all out the window
Like the feelings we nurtured
And the plans that went bad?
Somehow.. I feel foolish welcoming these thoughts to you as if you don’t make me feel safe in the love shared between two or as if you don’t share the love we share between us two.
I don’t like when you do this
And you don’t like when I do that,
We’re not seeing eye to eye
You’re clearly drained
And so am I,
You said you were fine
And I replied with I’m fine too
But deep down inside
You wanna say you hate my guts
And I know that’s the truth
Cause I hate mine too.
We’re at the beginning of inception
Though I know it begins to look
A whole lot like deception
It’s the truth I swear..
And no this isn’t a misconception
It’s more of an informal regression
With something unfamiliar on the other side
That looks just like progression.
So last night I spent my time looking at the stars
Thinking about all the things we could do
Spanning from jupiter to mars,
If you could just give me time
To open myself up to you..
Yes.. an unfamiliar thing to me
That I once thought I should never do,
A true fool’s game I played with myself where losers lose and I find myself without you..
Again and Again...
2/21/24
Here again huh.. okay..
Looking for something I know I can’t have
After finding myself
I ended up back on the same path;
Questioning if this is just who I’m destined to be.
In sharing these thoughts between you and I,
Him plus me.. at this point, we’re basically living the same lifestyle.
We’re tempted by the same things,
You sëë, we find pleasure in a taste of three things: Pussy, power, and pain;
The holiest of trinities.
I think it’s about time I start charging a small fee..
I’m my onlyfan and I wish that someday
I would start listening to me…
And with these words on this page
It would be nice if ,
I mean…
For the day that I realize I’m not working for my own team,
This is a prince on a griffin with an open mind
Opening the doors hidden on the mountain side;
Fate will make me realize
It was through my eyes
I held that draco to my head like a snake in the garden, I found myself slithering…
Swallowing a gulp of air down my adam’s apple
It was a fortnight’s midnight eve
And a conversion from false to truth
When I exposed my inauthenticity…
In realizing who I am
There was a 4 second deep inhale
Of a lung paralyzing breath of fresh air….
Finally at peace with who this is,
No longer was this he nor him;
As clear as day it was to sëë,
It was only me who stood here.
Over My Dead Body
7/19/26
I realized today I carry a trait of obsession.
Staring at you through the lens on my camera,
With the lenses of my everyday life,
I noticed your subtle gestures were calming the tides of my tempest.
I’m obsessed with you.
In the cold darkness I crave your warmth.
And as I scar beneath the heat of light shining on my flaws, still I crave the darkness that you’ve distanced me from, a place I once called home.
In essence, I’ve thrown my rocks and opened my palms to show my pebbles too.
I even rolled the stones and stained my clothes
In attempts to hide the vanity I once knew, as I step,
and grind, and crawl, my stubborn heart continuously grows fonder of you.
Smile
2/25/26
I smile because more often than not, I feel I have to. This world’s fueled by the hatred that extends further than the length of the Sahara Desert.
And to no surprise, I aimlessly hit the bullseye for additional corruption to fill the air with each touch resonating pain as I feel the air, this is me!! And for those to test my cynicism I raise you a truthful dare, a challenge if you will, to fix the things you can no longer control when you carry the weight of the bill, it comes with the added pounds as you hike up that hill.
Up and over, a repeating thought, to surpass thrill echoed out from others who took the same deal as if YOU were gonna be the one to conquer this wheel going round and round looping in your mind contemplating if the single cold metaled chaos that sits lonely in a chamber can roll out a fresh 70 millimeters of new film, BANG.
In Their Hearts
10/27/25
I like the fact that you can see the hate in someone just from looking at them.
Impossible to mask their seething hatred,
I watch and ponder about how they got here,
How their fate was decided,
What guided their decision making and if there's a chance to fix it.
I’m not the type to fix a problem that’s out of my control
But I am the type to spend my minutes,
That often feels like days spent hacking away at the things causing us pain.
You see, I’m an observer, not a social bystander.
I like to notice the things no one pays attention to,
Not your average social butterfly I guess you could say.
I often spread my wings on the corner of no return
Where you’ve shared your secret mannerisms when you thought no one was watching,
Yet there I was, minding the business that doesn’t pay me.
I’m a part of your world and you haven’t even noticed me.
Sometimes I’ve got my camera and sometimes I’ve got my eyes to capture this moment,
To me, there’s nothing better than the art of observation.
Not to pry and be connected to your lives,
But to live and experience the essence of human life,
The very thing coexisting in each of our minds,
Whether good or evil, it's the breath of our everyday lives.
Modern Fragments
6/15/26
In passing, he catches glimpses of hisself, offering brief moments where emotion meets him at a destination before the idea of connection arrives.
Once, in the bathroom of his favorite coffee shop.. there it was; the perfectly imperfect drawing he had tattooed on his arm that very day, serving as a represenation of insanity in the modern age.
He stands.. phased out, dissociated, and mirrored as he scrambles through the scraps of residue left behind in his brain for time to convince him that the fragments belong to the same man.